An Angstfilled Letter
by Sam4077
Summary: Character death! you have been warned. a simple letter, please R&R!


Angst; dunno if it's any good. Please R&R!!! Um…enjoy! **Bold** is song lyrics (in part) Italics is the letter. I think this might not be too realistic and in character, but oh well. It's a one shot.

Disclaimer:Unfortunately for myself, I do not own MASH, or anything associated with it. Do not own: Sunday Bloody Sunday (U2) Welcome to my Life (Simple Plan) I Don't Like Mondays (Boomtown Rats) or Bohemian Rhapsody (Queen) I make zero, zilch, nil money from this story which is merely the ramblings of an under occupied mind.

_Dear Everyone,_

_By the time you find this letter I will be hanging from the tree on the hill. I will be dead, as it is very hard to keep living when you can't breathe._

**Oh, I can't close my eyes and make it go away  
How long...How long must we sing this song?  
How long? How long...**

**Broken bottles under children's feet,**

**Bodies strewn across the dead end street,**

**But I won't heed the battle call,**

**It puts my back up,**

**Puts my back up against the wall**

_I bet none of you thought I would end this way. I didn't. But then,_

**Mama, just killed a man,**

**Put a gun against his head,**

**Pulled my trigger, now he's dead,**

**Mama, life had just begun,**

**But now I've gone and thrown it all away-**

**Mama, ooo,**

**Didn't mean to make you cry-**

**If I'm not back this time tomorrow-**

**Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters-**

**Too late, my time has come,**

**Sends shivers down my spine-**

**Body's aching all the time,**

**Goodbye everybody-I've got to go-**

**Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth-**

**Mama-ooo,**

**I don't want to die,**

**I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all**

_If any of you knew I was planning to do this-you'd lock me in an insane asylum with shrinks and people. Not good for my claustrophobia. Clogging, over-nice shrinks who just want to help. But then you've never held a gun to someone's head after you'd sworn never to take life. You've never seen the light in someone's eyes go out as they realise that this is the man who killed them, the last person they'd ever see-a tall, gaunt, silvered-haired man with tired eyes. A hint of gin on the breath, and a touch of craziness in the eyes._

_You would say I was just protecting you._

**And he can see no reasons,**

**Cos there are no reasons,**

**What reasons do you need to know?**

**Tell me why**

**I don't like Mondays**

**I'm gonna shoot the whole day down**

_The man was crazy! You would argue. He was a psycho trying to kill us and you, it was self-defence!_

_I know I'm an egotistical, self-serving, womanizing drunk who doesn't care about anything but my own reputation. This is the ultimate expression of selfishness-suicide. I can't take it anymore, so I'm gonna heave it onto your shoulders._

**Do you ever feel like breaking down?  
Do you ever feel out of place,   
Like some how you just don't belong,  
And no one understands you? When nothing feels alright,  
You don't know what it's like,  
To be like me!**

No you don't know what it's like,  
Welcome to my life

Do you want to be somebody else?   
Are you sick of feeling so left out?  
Are you desperate to find something more,  
Before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?  
Are you sick of everyone around?   
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies,  
While deep inside you're bleeding?

No you don't know what it's like,   
When nothing feels alright,  
You don't know what it's like,  
To be like me!

No you don't know what it's like,  
Welcome to my life

No one ever lies straight to your face!  
No one ever stabs you in the back!  
You might think I'm happy,  
But I'm not gonna be okay!

No you don't know what it's like,  
To be hurt, to feel lost,  
To be left out in the dark,  
To be kicked, when you're down,  
To feel like you've been pushed around,  
To be on the edge of breaking down,  
When no one's there to save you,  
No you don't know what it's like,  
Welcome to my life  


_Selfishness is the guiding force of my life. I'm not alone. I have you guys. But it's not enough. DAMN EVERYTHING TO HELL! Why is this so hard? First sign of madness: talking to yourself._

_Well, if I'm bad, I'll be seeing Lucifer pretty soon._

_I want to thank you for doing what you can. Everyone. Dad, Mum, Colonel Potter, Margaret, Beej, Trapper, Tommy Gillis, Klinger, Radar, Father Mulchahy, Henry, Charles-even you, Igor, Spearchucker, Ugly John, Ho-Jon, the enlisted, the nurses._

_But I'm a basket case. I'm a goner. Just look at my farewells and thank you list. Three dead people on it. Now, I'm gonna join them._

_Sorry. Sorry for everything. Sorry for being born, and making mum die, sorry for not saving the young men, women and children brought in, sorry that I can't do anything!_

_I love you._

_Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce_

It was Igor who found the body of the former Captain Pierce. He ran screaming and yelling through the camp. At the same time, Radar came screaming out of the Swamp, where the letter had been left on Hawkeye's cot, in plain view.

"What? What?" yelled Potter.

Radar and Igor were in hysterics.

Radar handed the letter to Potter, who read it over the loudspeaker.

_Finis_


End file.
